I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize