So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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