I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
