Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
