Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
