You're completely useless in the revolution.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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