So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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