Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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