So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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