So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
