Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
