What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you had me at cake vodka
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
