shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A bitchslap is in order.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
