I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
