Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
