He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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