My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
