You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My cat gives me a boner
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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