So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
what day is it and did you see me today?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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