im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
