grandma shit on top of the toilet
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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