I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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