Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
