okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
