this will be a night to untag.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
