S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
