i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
