you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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