I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
