Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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