He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
