White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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