My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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