it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
