so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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