Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need water and some morals
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
