whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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