i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Two words: blizzard sex
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
