i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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