please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
