what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
