if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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