Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
