Christians are straight up FREAKS
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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