i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
