last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
