They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
