yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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