I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
