watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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