I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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