Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
