I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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