Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
