U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
