the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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