I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
