Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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