This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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