everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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