i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
