so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
