So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
